City of Legends

The heat persists. I am slowly regaining my strength (the pain is pretty overwhelming, though) and decided to drag my sorry ass to the nearest computer to check in with all and wade through my email.

I found out the following, in short order:

• Some individual wanted to apologize to me for having been mislead as to a quotation from me (someone else had told them that they were the originator). Not sure what the quote was, but if they think that’s the only case of plagiarism of my work I have been apprised of, I have news for them. Nonetheless, very classy to apologize.
• I can get a much larger penis by trusting my credit card number to someone who uses stolen email addresses to advertise their drugs and who can’t even spell my name right.
• The lady in the poodle skirt has a very, very dirty mind. This is a good thing.
• Despite a semester of Russian in college, I can’t read Russian advertisements for porn sites.
• Selkes, by their very nature, are slippery.
• Karla still likes the Braves.
• Banks I have never even heard of insist on asking me to go to a third party site and enter my account number for them, along with my password, Mother’s maiden name and zip code.
• Some childhood friend has bought into the Obama = deep cover agent for Muslim extremists conspiracy theory.
• I typo’d "sewer" in an online interview.
• Viagra has hundreds of different official sites, all of which write me under different stolen email addresses.

So, all in all, I was (for the most part) better off staying in bed and moaning.

I am getting stronger and will fill everyone in on the upside of my trip as strength allows.