light is for chasing the truth
Posted by William F. DeVault | Filed under Journal
The last few days have been the most curiously stressful time of my life since I took it upon myself to edit the entirety of The Compleat Panther Cycles. No, not the work load, I can edit in my sleep (I seem to often do, with the typos I leave as I pound out first-draft postings on here). It’s the emotional stress.
I am having to connect with hundreds of my base works, as well as illustrations in paint, photographs and sculpture that I need to have resonate with the works, for the reboot. That means reconnecting. To everything I have ever felt or said or thought or been.
One of the main reasons to unleash the dogs of creative catharsis is exactly that: To unleash, to release, to be set free. Now I have to run through their kennel with a big, juicy steak strapped to my back.
So here I am, a mass of misfiring braincells pondering which beautiful piece of art, which model, which camera angle best speaks to the poem the grande, or I love you more than Gods can comprehend, or Pink Jade: a summoned fire (actually I have finished that one, thank God) or any of the others that at one time ruled my destiny. It is like binding one’s arms then trying to fight the minions of darkness. You can see them coming, you can hear their cries, you can see your wounds, but you can’t fight back. You chose this path and have at least the integrity to be honest about it and seek to try and do justice to the moment in which the poems were written.
I texted an old friend an hour ago just to say "I’m a mess". Better, though, the black and the white and the red and the green than the greys I have seen others choose, where salt taste just salty and words are just words and light…
light is for chasing the truth. Character is what we are in the dark. Give me the darkness, that I may know myself, and those who surround me, in true form. My mental and emotional hygiene may suck right now, but I will know true things. Or burn like a comet on my way down.
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