City of Legends

Pardon me while I scream, loudly.

Too many decisions. Not for the judging of the TVC2008. We only got two entries (I shoulda sprung for the grand as the first prize, but I was saving up for this vacation that never came to be…or at least hasn’t yet, you never know).

No, picking the illustrations for the reboot at williamfdevault.com. It is maddening. I have no less than a half-dozen excellent choices for eyes of stained glass and fire. Another four or five for sex cookies. You don’t want to know what is going on with the trilogy of Pink Jade poems I am including. And if this one magnificent photographer/model from Sweden whom I have been courting says yes, well let’s just say I will do a small victory dance, then curl up in a fetal position and wish to be nine years old again.

Plus, consider what looking at all this pulchritudinous, often nude or demi-nude, female flesh is doing to a guy who has been celibate since Bush’s 1st term. Hey, I spelt pulchritudinous correctly. Wow.

I do know about 15% of the assigned works to the first round of poems, as of now.

This is why I go quietly mad between assistants. There was a time…

 The drive to see my parents (I am in to actually see my 95 year old Grandmother, who is in failing health) is always an interesting time, as it allows me buffered time to think out loud.  Usually I get a lot of thinking and writing and sonic experimentation on the 3-1/2 hour trip.

This morning was no exception.  It started as a ramble, dealing with lyrical issues on the new Evangelist CD, but then segued into an examination of my life over the last year.  A lot has happened, many events and elements I could not have foreseen.  Some gentle, some brutal.

All in all, I have come to a conclusion.  This is one of the best years of my life.  

I have reconnected with old friends I had no expectation of ever hearing from again.  I have taken public stands on the issues of the day, been recognized for these stands, and made connections with people who have the power to affect things.  I have loved openly and with abandon a woman who loved me in the same manner.  I have broken some bad habits, written some great poetry, recorded some interesting material to posterity, helped a few friends get elements of their lives in order, saved at least two lives (according to the individuals) and published a remarkable book.  I’ve learned new words and concepts, examined my own failings and picked splinters from my metaphorical ass.

There have been some downer days and strange pains, but when the scales are weighed, I have to say that if every year was as remarkable as this one, I would be the luckiest man alive.  Most people do not live as much and as well in an entire lifetime as I have lived this past year.

I thank all of you who have shared this voyage with me, from the most vocal of friends to the saddest stalkers.  From the constant to the mercurial, from the inspiring to the oppressive.  From those who will still be a part of my life next year and for years and decades to come, to those who have now passed back into the grey.  

I thank you all with profound and spiritual gratitude and wish only to say that, while I compiled a massive list of names to include here, I shall not.  Some secrets are best kept.  While I won’t lie to you, I will withhold that which would force others harm or pain.

I have some great ideas now to finish up those damn final tracks on Evangelist, and am looking forward to tomorrow with great hope, joy and peace.

I have no quarrel with any of you.  If you have with me, that is a measure of you, not me.  Being loved and respected is not a measure of a person, loving and respecting others is.

Namaste.

This is an article I posted as "Sex, Lies and MP3’s" on Author’s Den, earlier today, detailing my efforts in putting together my romantic and erotic poetry tracks for Valentine’s Day for my podcast show, From Out of the City.
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Okay, I admit to a certain perfectionistic streak in me, something I control by forcing myself into a single draft mode. I don’t allow myself to rewrite…what I hammer out is either a keeper or a junker. No turd polishing.

My resolve has been tested in general by my new podcast show, "From Out of the City", and in specific by this past week’s goal, to craft two tracks worth of audio programs…a romantic and an erotic one.

First problem, selecting the material. I ran a poll on my blog…got a few ideas. But, in the end, I wasn’t going to cop out and throw the selection process on anyone else. I had to make the choices.

Yeah, I had to pick a handful of works from amongst about 13,000. Good luck.

I sat down and picked two lists.

For Track A, the romantic works, I picked a selection of some of my best.

• *The Unicorns
• *Sacred Smile
• *Monument
• *Damascus, Movement III
• *The Patchwork Skirt of My Love
• *Tread Softly
• *Love Gods of a Forgotten Religion
• *We Owe Debt to Memory
• *A Kiss is an Act of Bravery
• *Soubrette

The "Unicorns", "Monument" and "Tread Softly" were easy calls. Some of my most enduring works, sweetly romantic, proven winners.

"A Kiss is an Act of Bravery" was a last minute addition. I’d forgotten the piece until recently brought back to my attention my the Selke, the young woman-muse who had inspired it in the first case. Her reading of it for a show a few weeks back reminded me that it was a good candidate for Valentine’s Day.

How could I not do "The Patchwork Skirt of My Love", "Love Gods of a Forgotten Religion" and "Sacred Smile"? All three were award-winning works in their own right and evoked such wonderful images. I have to admit the connections between the latter, "Damascus (Movement Three)" and my second marriage made it a challenge, but I was game.

"Soubrette"? I’ve always considered that one under-rated and it resonates with me.

Finally we get "We Owe Debt to Memory", which I think lays a solid framework for romanticism. I couldn’t say no to that one.

Now to the eros. Tougher call. My works, while often in the erotic vein, are not as explicit as some might expect. Indeed, Walt Whitman was as explicit as I. And he’s been gone for some time, you know.

The list I came up with was great…

• *A Summoned Fire (Pink Jade)
• *Warm Breath Stirs Soft Flesh (Pink Jade)
• *Touch (Pink Jade)
• *Possession
• *Wine
• *Tracery (Pink Jade)
• *Jasmine and Plumeria (Pink Jade)
• *Dare We Cross the Rubicon?
• *The Satyr’s Suit
• *How Would You Have Me Touch You?

I sat down, after I completed the readings and the music for the romantic track, and worked these. Rough. I was doing half "Pink Jade" works and a couple from my affair with the Mad Gypsy (eerie coincidence…having not spoken to her in a year, I got an email from her while working on the recordings. The empaths still vibrate.)

"The Satyr’s Suit" and "Dare We Cross the Rubicon", which I had written for Author’s Den, were easy calls. Likewise the two to the Gypsy, "Wine" and "Possession".

"How Would You Have Me Touch You"? A logical choice for a reading, as were a selection of the works from the "Pink Jade" series.

I finished the read and decided to experiment with using Ravel’s "Bolero" for the background music.

After three tries, I was furious with annoyance. I couldn’t get the balance.

I sat back and clicked on the files that the Selke had recorded for me, as background for some of the pieces. Just breathing, soft sighs, little sounds in the back of her throat. The sort of sounds that signify a woman’s contentment with lovemaking.

Effective.

I threw out a day’s work and started over.

First, some humour. Something unexpected, transitioning from real life to love life.

"Lust Bunnies". Perfect.

Then something light, but nonetheless erotic, a flirtation.

"Swerve(flirt)" Having established the need, we’re establishing the seduction.

Now, something transitional. Something with the presence to have us bring in the undeniably erotic vocalizations of my sweet tempered and most loyal muse.

"The Priest of Passion Serves the Sacrament". Excellent choice, erotic, achingly so. The lover as worshipper, bound by faith to love as much as possible, to bring pleasure on the altar of a woman’s body.

Okay, we’re there, we’re raising the room temperature…how far do we take this?

"Prescient Tense: Rose Petals" How sweet, erotica with some gentle romance. Soft core sweetness.

Le’s pull something from the "Pink Jade" works…something unexpected…

"Thin Skin (Pink Jade)" Curves and soft, warm skin. Touching and caressing.

Yes, that’s it! Now, let’s drop the bomb…

"Passion Sympoetique". All three movements: Seduction, Penetration, Sustain. I could hear the music, already, in my head.

Now to bring it to, pardon the phrase, a climax. I had written a piece lately that seemed to get many all hot and bothered. Good enough referral there.

"Feral With Desire".

I had barely finished the last words of that piece into the microphone when the loop browser on my Garage Band software was open and I was assembling the backing track. Guitars, pianos, harps, mandolins…and, The Selke’s backing vocals, beginning after the first two works, and ending the entire recording with a final, sated sigh.

I felt like Keith Emerson. He told a story of having taken Emerson, Lake and Palmer’s recording of Alberto Ginastera’s "Toccato and Fugue in D Minor" to the Swiss composer’s home to have him listen to it. As the final notes faded, the maestro began banging his cane on the floor screaming "Diabolo!"

The keyboard god was worried he’d offended the composer, who explain through his interpreter that quite the contrary, this was how he had heard it in his own mind when he composed it. He was marvelling at how the pomp rock trio had captured what no orchestra had managed to.

I know how he felt, the music came like magic. I mixed and adjusted, tweaked and adapted.

I listened to the final tracks. Then listened again. The listened again.

Then I reached for my upload button as I spoke the nunc dimittis.

I was done.

must have caffeine. give me your caffeine. urrrraghurgh

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…better.

stayed up way too late last night, working on the music and vocals for the Track B podcast…man, I have learned more in the last few days than I ever wanted to know about some things, but that’s what makes life interesting.

Not final, but here’s the current list of works being used in this track, now:

As I Slide Into You
Passion Sympoetique
feral with desire (nb - not to be confused with "feral with a side order of potato skins")
the priest of passion serves the sacrament (nb - so as to be accused once more of blasphemy)
lust bunnies
swerve (flirt)
Prescient Tense (Rose Petals)
Pink Jade: Thin Skin

This is by NO MEANS FINAL. As god of my own universe, I reserve the right to make changes up to and including the last possible second. Note: less "Pink Jade"…no "leopard"…and some light hearted erotica.

I am evaluating a small cluster of my works, so blatantly erotic as to be problematic…I’ll see if I want to "go there". Well, yeah, I want to "go there", but maybe not poetically.

uh oh, the wolverine’s loose again. Anyone got an aluminum baseball bat? Ideally with welded-on spikes?