so far…
Posted by William F. DeVault | Filed under Dante, Elric, Journal, Peri
Not the best of days, as my mind seems to be focused on the half-empty aspects of life today (must be this bloody headache).
I have fallen desperately in love with someone willing to shout their love from the top of the world’s highest mountains, put out an excellent book and am about to put out a CD, and my primary website has undergone a transformation. Pluses.
The aforementioned love, you also edited, wrote the foreword to and served as cover model for the book seems to have taken a powder. The CD has been an arduous task in times of a broken heart and failing health and I can’t easily maintain my website as I am not familiar yet with the technology (WordPress) the aforementioned lady converted me to. Minuses.
But, I am alive, writing, thinking and feeling. I have met some of the most extraordinary people I have ever known in this life in the last few months (it seems when I implode, the world follows) and have written some of my best works ever in that same timeframe. I am limping, but triumphant. Or is that triumphant, but limping? Depends on your worldview.
In any case, so far, life is okay. Far from perfect, but what would I have to write about then?
My boys had a nice birthday yesterday. We capped the evening by going to an iMax showing of The Dark Knight at the Smithsonian’s Udvar-Hazy Center. Impressive. Not sure I would review it as the be-all, end-all of cinema, as some seem intent on doing, but it is a good popcorn movie with some excellent, deep and even troubling performances. Yes, Heath Ledger pulls off an amazing transformation. Academy Award? Probably, but at least a bit of that vote will flow from those who wish to recognize the fact that he will not get a chance to build on his performance.
Elric and Dante both got the video games they craved. Their sister came in to see them and they are all taking a vacation to Virginia Beach. I will have some dark times in my solitude, dark times that will serve as the coffee filter of my soul to help me write and compose.
The TVC2008 submissions are closed. The CD engineering is done. I have had to cut back my public appearances, thanks to health issues, but will still make some major appearances.
So far, so good.
Happy Birthday and various other items of interest
Posted by William F. DeVault | Filed under Dante, Elric, Peri, Video contest, contests
Today my sons, Dante and Elric, turn 15. I will be taking them to see The Dark Knight on the iMax screen at the Udvar-Hazy Center of the Smithsonian. They are pumped. As a combined present to them and their sister, Peri, their mother and I flew Peri in and surprised the boys yesterday. It is fun watching teenaged boys trying to act cool when they are surprised, taking all their low-key poses.
Today is the final day for submissions to the TVC2008 video contest (see above). If you haven’t started your project, you are probably too late. Next year, more lead time and bigger prizes, I promise. This has been mishandled by me. Thanks to those who have submitted and there will be an award on August 16th.
I have been pondering the logistics of the new version of williamfdevault.com. I was thinking of making it in two stages of 50-100 poems each, but have decided that is too complicated and grandiose and boring (to me). So, starting this Wednesday, July 23, you will start seeing slow, subtle changes on that site as the new works (and some old ones) and the art and photography begin to flow like vodka and Red Bull at an all-night disco. I want to thank the dozens of artists, photographers and models who have entertained the notion. I only received two rejections, and both were heart-breaking (it is a fragile thing, patched as it is) I found some amazing people who I trust will not only contribute to this effort, but will be my friends for many years to come.
I have much to do today, and it only gathers momentum as the days and weeks fly by. So, I am off to Ka Latil to do what I am expected to do.
not the horse latitudes
Posted by William F. DeVault | Filed under Dante, Elric, Evangelist, Journal, Peri
The day between two events I often refer to as being in the horse latitudes, an old sailing phrase for being in the area of the oceans near the equator where the winds are not as dependable as most places and you can find yourself becalmed.
Not for me. This morning I got up at 4 am and picked up my daughter at the airport for a week’s visit. I finished (I swear) the final engineering on Evangelist (a re-envisioning of Eros V which I am calling Eros V2, making a little joke). I cleaned up my vocals and added percussion. I did not touch Selke’s backing vocals, as they are flawless. And that strange instrument you hear that sounds like a piano and a guitar mixed together? That’s exactly what that is, piano music shoved through filters to make it sound more like guitar music. It is rather unusual, but it works.
In a few hours I have to go spend several hours prepping a proposal…tomorrow is the boys’ birthday (they turn 15) and we are going to a late showing of The Dark Knight.
I also picked up a few more models today! Yay! Next week I get to figure out who is doing what duty, but I can assure you that you will be blown away. I even found a few who may end up replacing the original faces I used on the old version of williamfdevault.com.
Hey, that’s my option. I have decided I need to do what’s best for those who are engaged in my life.
contemplation
Posted by William F. DeVault | Filed under Affirmation, As such, Candy Tothill, Dan McTaggart, Dante, Elric, Evangelist, Evangelist Tour, Jezika, Journal, Karla Sasser, Larry Jaffe, Michele Beschen, Peri, Pink Jade, Poetry, The Faerie, Thoughts about Life, music, podcast, the Selke
The drive to see my parents (I am in to actually see my 95 year old Grandmother, who is in failing health) is always an interesting time, as it allows me buffered time to think out loud. Usually I get a lot of thinking and writing and sonic experimentation on the 3-1/2 hour trip.
This morning was no exception. It started as a ramble, dealing with lyrical issues on the new Evangelist CD, but then segued into an examination of my life over the last year. A lot has happened, many events and elements I could not have foreseen. Some gentle, some brutal.
All in all, I have come to a conclusion. This is one of the best years of my life.
I have reconnected with old friends I had no expectation of ever hearing from again. I have taken public stands on the issues of the day, been recognized for these stands, and made connections with people who have the power to affect things. I have loved openly and with abandon a woman who loved me in the same manner. I have broken some bad habits, written some great poetry, recorded some interesting material to posterity, helped a few friends get elements of their lives in order, saved at least two lives (according to the individuals) and published a remarkable book. I’ve learned new words and concepts, examined my own failings and picked splinters from my metaphorical ass.
There have been some downer days and strange pains, but when the scales are weighed, I have to say that if every year was as remarkable as this one, I would be the luckiest man alive. Most people do not live as much and as well in an entire lifetime as I have lived this past year.
I thank all of you who have shared this voyage with me, from the most vocal of friends to the saddest stalkers. From the constant to the mercurial, from the inspiring to the oppressive. From those who will still be a part of my life next year and for years and decades to come, to those who have now passed back into the grey.
I thank you all with profound and spiritual gratitude and wish only to say that, while I compiled a massive list of names to include here, I shall not. Some secrets are best kept. While I won’t lie to you, I will withhold that which would force others harm or pain.
I have some great ideas now to finish up those damn final tracks on Evangelist, and am looking forward to tomorrow with great hope, joy and peace.
I have no quarrel with any of you. If you have with me, that is a measure of you, not me. Being loved and respected is not a measure of a person, loving and respecting others is.
Namaste.
Mama said there’d be years like this
Posted by William F. DeVault | Filed under Elric, Evangelist, Evangelist Tour, Journal, Karla Sasser, Thoughts about Life
In the last 48 hours I have encountered more Ghosts of Christmas Pasts than I thought existed. Old friends (and a few not so friendlies) emerging from the ether to speak of things that they felt I needed to hear, or at least they needed to say. And it is all good.
I’m not going to pretend the past year has been anything short of a proving ground for some principles and philosophies. I’ve failed on a few, won on most of the rest and am still waiting the sound of falling shoes on a couple. All in all, a stellar year, and one I will remember fondly (believe it or not).
My dear Mother is prone to say that I am the sort of person who can fall in horse shit and get up smelling roses. She’s right. I may have my dark times, usually when I am in pain of a physical or spiritual nature, but I am pretty durable and amazingly optimistic. I perceive hate, fear and rage as venoms against me, even when I am their source, and thus I don’t let them stick around long. They do their damage, I heal and hope I learned something from the encounter that will reduce the likelihood or intensity of the next meeting.
You can condemn my methods, my talents and even my results, but that merely means you have issue with them. I won’t deny I’ve screwed a few things, a lot of things, up and badly. But on the whole, if you assemble in a room the 100 people who know me best and have seen me in my broadest spectrum, I am content I get an acquittal, and maybe even a round or two of applause for the effort.
The mere fact I am right now pondering the logistics of assembling such a group indicates how daft I can be. The second sign of daftness is that many people who think they know me best don’t have a clue. And there are some people who figured me out in the first thirty seconds I knew them whom I would love to see in that assembly.
I slept badly last night, my back is sore and my neck is stiff. Pollen is driving my sinuses bonkers right now. I pulled a muscle in my shoulder doing yard work and I’m still wearing yesterday’s socks (ugh). I have to deal with the possibility of canceling my tour, or at least scaling it back, due in no small part to an 89 cent burrito from Taco Bell that almost laid me out. It’s bad when you see strips of your own stomach lining. I felt like a starfish.
But I am resolute and working hard to finish the CD and get myself in the best shape I can for touring. I am working hard on my emotional hygiene, as that will be more important than anything in my making it to and through the Evangelist Tour. I am asking a lot from myself. More than ever before.
I pondered taking a lover, but Karla, of all people, smacked me upside the head and reminded me that without the spiritual aspect, it would do me more damage than good. Of course, she’s gotten some more recently than me, says one side of me, looking to shout her down.
I got cute yesterday and made "flair" on FaceBook of all my CD and book covers, sans one which I withheld out of respect for the feelings of a few people who would not hesitate to butcher me in public if they thought it would ease their personal pain. You should, if on FaceBook, swing by and get some…and sign up as my friend, I can always use more friends, even if you haven’t yet passed the test (no one has, so don’t sweat it, I just sleep with one eye open and am tougher than I look).
My son, Elric, is helping me with the music for the final tracks for the Evangelist CD. That is exciting, in many, many ways. And, if you haven’t been over on Amomancer in a while, or don’t like the tone of the malediction poems, wait a few days and strap in…there’s something coming up that will melt the icecaps and dry up Iowa. At the same time.
music therapy and poodle skirt flirts
Posted by William F. DeVault | Filed under Dante, Elric, Evangelist, Journal, Karla Sasser
If you were sitting in my family room right now, watching me dance at the keyboard, you’d probably figure out pretty quickly that, despite the fact I am wearing my earbuds, I am listening to Morris Day and the Time performing Jungle Love. The moves are obvious.
But I am not here to talk about my sublimely masterful footwork. Nope. I am just here to say good evening and lay out the schedule as I see it over the next few weeks or so.
I am postponing a final decision on the tracks for Evangelist for two weeks. This will hem in the production schedule, but it’s my work so I get final say.
No new book until next Spring, if then (we all know how I suck at keeping those promises), tentatively entitled Return of the Ronin. Of course, I like the title so much I might steal it for a CD. We shall see.
I am going to spend next week in California. It was supposed to be this early in the year or solo, but I have ample offers for company and I will not be bored. I will not be reading in California. Under my own name. In any place you’d think to look for me. Ha!
Thanks to the lovely lady in the poodle skirt for helping me get my head on straight, and I would be remiss if I did not credit the amazing Karla Sasser for her updates form the City Streets Music Festival in Birmingham for helping me keep balanced.
Please, be thinking of the people in Iowa, battling the floods, and those who will continue to be displaced and challenged by our own folly in neglecting the climate until practically too late. The truth is the Hell on Earth we have manifested in foreign lands seems to be coming home to roost.
I may be taking on a new crew of proteges. More on this, perhaps, later. I am tired and have a busy few days ahead of me.
The boys, with their mother’s help, gave me a nice Father’s Day dinner.
oh…
Posted by William F. DeVault | Filed under Blogosphere, Dante, Elric, Evangelist, Evangelist Tour, Journal, Peri, Poetry, Thoughts about Life, Video contest
I am back. Just on my own terms and for my own purposes. A couple-few things you need to keep in mind as you visit here.
- I am not a blogger. I am a poet and a diarist, no doubt, but not a blogger. I have been dragged, kicking and screaming, into the widget-driven blogosphere, where traffic seems to be more important than content, intent or legacy. I don’t pimp well, never have, and don’t plan to start now. There are some brilliant bloggers (check the list to the right for at least one). I ain’t one of them.
- I still think my son Dante will one day get a Nobel in Math or Physics. I was scary at his age. He makes me look pathetic.
- I am supposed to be taking a nap right now. Ha! I will sleep when I am dead.
- I have a new EJ. She’s doing fine. Don’t bug her too much. I’m not sleeping with her, I don’t plan to sleep with her and unless she is a liar of the twelfth degree, she has no romantic designs on my heart or loins. Let’s keep it that way. She will be doing an interview with me soon, so if you have any incredibly intrusive questions, email them to her at trojanhearse@cityoflegends.com
- I am not yet unmade to ronin. That is not my decision to make, nor would I have it be. All my shattered pieces are, as yet, whole.
- I am still writing, writing like a breached dam. I am writing aloud as I drive, unable to catch the sweat and tears of my demons and angels as they fall. I need a hobby.
- I love my daughter Peri and am hoping for her to come visit next month.
- I am still planning to move to LA. I see three variant scenarios that would keep me from that…one involves my death.
- The video contest is on. The Evangelist CD will get back on track when I have some answers. The tour is fluidic but there. The readings I have already done this week and will be doing this weekend are in preparation for it. I am regaining my edge, signified by my change in eye wear, my haircut and my new shoes (Ruth Solomon, a shout out to one of my favourite poets of all time, I would crawl on my buttocks to get to tour with you again).
- I am not sick or dying. Sorry. I know there are a lot of people whose lives would get simpler if I did croak. No such luck. You have any idea how few people can afford platinum-jacketed silver bullets that have crosses carved into them, have been dipped in garlic and Holy water and then irradiated with Gamma rays while being held between the thighs of a redheaded virgin for six months? Not many. I actually had some health concerns. I spoke to a doctor. He said sleep, eat better and stop worrying so much and (since he knows me) write.
- I like pie (a shout out to my son Elric).
- I have made some stupid mistakes in the last few weeks, years and decades. I think I have offered my apologies to everyone I can without creating problems for certain parties ("Yeah, you don’t know me, but I slept with your wife a few years ago and I just wanted to…what? She didn’t tell you? Ooops…what number is this?"). That is a statement of my character.
- I have made some new friends, and if I seem to be hanging away from where I used to hang it is for several reasons, not the least of which are these cool new friends. I may be pimping out someone else’s works soon. I’m better flying second slot for people than I usually am selling myself.
So there it is, in a nutshell. Now go…watch TV or hug your kids or read a book. That remind me, I need to update the store. Gheez…my work is never done.
~so while hanging out in your corner...