lots of time with lots to do
Posted by William F. DeVault | Filed under Aubergine, Evangelist, Journal, Karla Sasser, Tales of the Amomancer, Video contest
No, I did not get 100 links up yesterday. Thanks for noticing. To quote Wesley in Wanted: What the fuck have you done lately? I may get that tattoo’d across my forehead.
I ran into the situation of how to have 100 links without unbalancing the page. Will have to scratch my head a bit on that one. Slept well, slept hard, have begun sleeping past 4 am (good sign).
Today: Finish cleaning up loose ends, spend a few hours having anxiety attack over how good the Evangelist cut is going to be/not be.
Closing in on completing the tag indexing of Amomancer. Starting from now and working back, there was an imbalance. Starting at the back and moving forward, we are getting a more balanced picture of my catalog posted.
Someone wrote me about the use of Aubergine as a muse-tag, particularly on Amomancer. Bite me. This is to pave the way for the book Aubergine, which is to be the final words that began with As such… Regrettable, but while stupid dogs stick around and bite when kicked, smart ones fold their tents and move on. The last one out is not a quitter, they are an idealist, a romantic. I can live with that legacy. By the way, ahem, the apology was not for the relationship, it was for disbelieving an informed warning. Don’t make assumptions when dealing with me. You’ll be wrong more often than not.
And try not to read too much into the recent spate of KFS oriented poetry. She’s a friend I was once romantically involved with, one of the most honorable and brave people I know, as well as being an excellent writer. And, last time I checked, she had a boyfriend….who knows about us and our track record. She has never re-invented herself, ever. That’s class. That’s integrity.
Anyway, I have a lot of things to do…more to do than I had on Friday…as new stuff comes in faster than I can juggle. But that’s the way…uh huh uh huh…I like it…uh huh uh huh.
Working on a logo…and waiting for the last-minute video entries everyone is promising me…two weeks until deadline.
Kitabu
Posted by William F. DeVault | Filed under Journal, News, People, Poetry, politics
We interrupt the sex and sorrow to release the new lyrics for Kitabu, jointly here and on the Amomancer blog. I sat down with my original lyrics, and threw them out, as they were woven into a tapestry of the other lyrics. Not the first time or the worst reason I’ve had to throw out lyrics, but annoying. I will probably get shot at for the "legacies of pride" line, but pride cuts both ways, those who have something to be proud of (Mandela, Tutu) and those who do not (Amin and Mugabe) but would puff out their chests anyway and take pride in their sickness.
I wanted something that captured the texture of Africa, as well as the turmoil and the complicity of silence, of indifference (no, I am not being metaphoric here) of the West. For better or for worse, this is what came.
Kitabu
land of dark and green and gold
where diamonds rise and weapons sold
become the arch for hot hearts cold
to the pain of a sullen midwife.
Africa! Mandela! Amin! Mugabe! Tutu!
legacies of pride and those who died
fighting for something more, inside.
where both fates and hates collide
in challenge to all new life.
Africa! from the Sudan to the Cape!
from the grass where rose our species
to the killing fields of the disease
of human greed and human need, please
let us not turn our backs on this strife.
Africa! Hadeda! Zebra! Elephants! Lions!
Jesus weeps for the slaughter and the pain
that falls in a dehumanizing rain,
and for our indifference, we wear the stain
as surely as the madman with the knife.
Africa! land of passion and hope and dreams.
land of passion and hope and dreams.
land of passion and hope and dreams.
a book as timeless as it is enigmatic.
but as beautiful as it is bloody.
and as worthy as any grace under heaven.
William F. DeVault. all rights reserved.
special thanks to Aubergine, for the inspirations.
Can I quit now?
Posted by William F. DeVault | Filed under Evangelist, Poetry, Video contest, interview, music
I was sifting through the works I have been composing over the last few weeks. There’s a lot, a lot. An interesting melange of anger and fear and lust and love and pain and joy and hope and despair and the human condition. Some fairly well writ material, I am pleased to say. We’re creeping up towards 17,000 works in the catalog now. That is almost the equivalent of having written a poem a day, every day, since I was five years old.
Can I quit now?
No.
Poetry never deserts you, lies to you, betrays you. It never says one thing but does another. Poetry speaks the truth, without regard for agenda. I think of the scene in All That Jazz when Victoria Porter is up in Joe Gideon’s apartment and she asks him if he thinks she has what it takes to be a star. He clenches his fists because he can’t lie to her about THAT, and tells her no, realizing at the same time it probably will derail his whole seduction strategy.
She rationalizes it away and sleeps with him anyway. But he was willing to not sleep with her, in order to keep his integrity in the moment.
I’ve never lied to a protege, no matter how pretty or willing, and told her she was good when I knew she wasn’t. I have been fortunate enough to be involved with some remarkable writers. People with the power to shine like the sun and roar like the thunder. That few have lived up to the potential I have seen in them is no insult to or indictment of them or me, some choose a different path. I don’t think a barber or an office worker or an ice cream salesman is less than me, just different. There are days I would gladly trade my place in this life for theirs. Gladly surrender. Trade it all for one honest kiss.
Trust me. I believe in surrender, I just can’t find anyone to surrender to. I have tried, really tried. At least a few times. But I keep hearing that "I know what I said and I know what it sounded like, but it was said in the moment and I had my fingers crossed anyway and…" speech that tells me that poetry is still my only earnest mistress and master.
I am anxious to see more of the TVC2008 entries, anxious to see more of what people see in their heads when they hear my words. I am coming to pieces trying to finish the Evangelist CD. In part, because there are a half-dozen unfinished tracks I cannot complete for various reasons, either AWOL collaborators (Kitabu) or production delays (Aubergine) or a sense of incompleteness (gotterdamerung). This may be my last CD for a while and I want it right.
I hate shutting down peacat, especially with at least two external authors in line to publish through it, but I see no moral or ethical alternative. I am trying to feel my way through a complex labyrinth, but I am making headway.
Henry Plantagenet was right. But I am not quitting. Not on poetry. Not on life. Not on love. I can’t let the disease of other peoples’ complexities hobble me, taint me and take from me that which I require to do what I am required to do.
So, buckle in, people. And get ready for some Crazy Ivan turns that will reap the whirlwind. Daddy’s home.
smirking is back
Posted by William F. DeVault | Filed under Evangelist, Evangelist Tour, Journal
Free associating this morning whilst working on the guitar lines for Aubergine (be prepared to lose brain cells to a sonic apocalypse (good name for a band)) I recalled one of my favourite scenes in a film. Val Kilmer in "Real Genius" being a bit random but in the way I sometimes am. Val plays arrogant, fun loving Chris Knight in the movie…
Mitch: You know, um, something strange happened to me this morning…
Chris Knight: Was it a dream where you see yourself standing in sort of sun-god robes on a pyramid with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you?
Mitch: No…
Chris Knight: Why am I the only one who has that dream?
…and I smirked. Really. Any idea how long it has been since an honest-to-Arioch smirk was on this face? A while. Which means either I am regaining my traction on the scrith of life, or the alien pod people have already swapped me out for a plant-based lifeform. In any case, it was good to feel it bloom on my face.
I am going to go on vacation in July, as mental prep for the tour, and to see an old friend or two or one that I haven’t spent time with in some time. And beyond that is is nobody’s business but mine own where I will be and what I will be doing and with whom. It is time to recenter myself, with a vengeance.
Go do something meaningful, people. I’m keeping one foot in the nefarious zone for the time being, but the survival instincts kicked in. Well, actually, more like the regenerative powers…I did pretty much hit the ground as fast or faster than I ever had before.
Aubergine: the musical
Posted by William F. DeVault | Filed under Evangelist, Humour, Journal, Links
Maniacal laughter.
I spent some serious time last night and this morning, working on the big show-stopper for the Evangelist CD, Aubergine. I had to select the works to be contained within, decide tone and texture and begin the engineering/orchestrations (yes, orchestration, I said I was going over the top).
I’m looking at probably a 9 to 10 minute build with six poems, capped most likely by More than Gods Can Comprehend. This is going to be interesting, maddening and cathartic. More than the Topanga Run, less than PanthEon, in its own way. I look to have it wrapped this weekend and will not leak this one. I may throw some people or my general readership a bone with a few pieces, but this one will be a surprise.
Speaking of surprise, I was puttering around on YouTube yesterday, trying to see if a particular scene from "The Stunt Man" was available (it wasn’t) when I ran across a sketch by British satirical puppet troupe Spitting Image, featuring Peter O’Toole waking up after a wild night of drinking to find he has lost a leg in a bar bet, had a sex change operation and is now pregnant by Oliver Reed. And people wonder why I don’t drink. Enjoy.
They also had a very funny sketch about South Africans, but I think I’ll avoid that one, as…well, no use burning any more bridges while I am standing on them, eh?
Tuesday…fighting the addiction
Posted by William F. DeVault | Filed under Evangelist, Evangelist Tour, Journal, The Compleat Panther Cycles, Thoughts about Life
I write. You can criticize me for what I write, what I write about and my style, but you have to admit, I write.
I’ll try to keep it to two posts today…then maybe I’ll fade it back to one a day, soon…
I started laying the musical framework for Aubergine last night. Challenging, as I am demanding a lot from myself on this one. It won’t be easy, it won’t be simple. But, I am game. A reader has suggested I post a link to my version of I rained poetry, and maybe even let readers vote on the selections for the Evangelist CD. I don’t know. Too many things to ponder. My brain hurts.
To those of you who find my promotion of my book As such… a bit surreal, or even hypocritical, I apologize. The simple truth is that I am keeping a promise I made, in both letter and spirit. I have broken other promises in the past (and, sometimes, keeping one promise means breaking another), wrestled with definitions of faith, truth, honor and morality, sometimes losing, sometimes winning, and sometimes being caught in those webs where no matter what you do, you are doing something wrong in absolute terms or someone’s eyes. It is exhausting, and exhaustion sometimes leads to errors in judgement. I actually considered, for several days, pulling the book from circulation.
It is one of those 51/49 percent situations where no matter what I do, someone will find ample room to criticize me. That’s just part of the terrain. Life has no easy answers, no cut and dried resolutions. Someone, somewhere, will take offense at anything you can imagine doing. Anyone who even dreams they know everything that I am doing or why needs therapy. Hell, I probably need it…but it makes it so much more interesting to see me work it out in anapest hexameter, no? I’m going to screw up more in this life, those of you without sin…buy a catapult, I’ll stand in the open and let you snipe. If it makes you feel better to use me as a lightning rod, then I consider it a public service I am rendering.
I began packing my cargo boxes for the tour. A bit early, you say? yes. But I need to keep a running inventory on this trip, as I am traveling with a massive amount of books, CDs and merch (do you have any idea how much a single copy of The Compleat Panther Cycles weighs?). The bookstore reads are nice, as they order their own stock…but the coffeehouse, cafe, etc., type reads need me to drag my own stuff. Pain in the ass. But the boots are nice
Monday night…notice a pattern?
Posted by William F. DeVault | Filed under Evangelist, Evangelist Tour, Journal, music
The boots are more than adequate (Yay!) and I will debate within myself the jacket I have taken under consideration.
I was listening to a random scramble and shuffle off my iTunes and hit Bette Midler’s athletic version of Bob Seger’s Fire Down Below and…and…and…
I sat down and engineered a shell for my reading of I rained poetry I have Jezika™ right now working with. It’s good. It’s different for me, but good. If Jezika™ doesn’t get it done or I don’t like her version, it will go on the CD instead. I might even include both…two takes on the same work. Hmmmm.
I also have to confess I am working on one of those monster production numbers, like Wordslinger, Erotic V and Beasts of Legend. It may come together, or it may not. Watch for further word on it here. It is lush, fantastic and a worthy golem. I am calling it Aubergine. And if that doesn’t send a few chills down some spines, then I’m Will Smith in New York, surrounded by the undead revenants of a plague. And who wants to live in that sort of world?
John Cafferty and the Beaver Brown Band…take me to The Dark Side.
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