City of Legends

Whilst my actual manhood is under remote control from thousands of miles away, I have gathered my wits and wiles and held council of war with a few choice friends to announce (subject to delightful change at the whim of the right woman) the initial planning stages of a coast-to-coast poetry tour this summer, taking in festivals, conferences, book fairs, schools, churches and maybe even a diner or two (just to make Dan McTaggart happy).

I have tentative arrangements underway already in six, make that eight, er…eleven…cities (nothing named until they are locked in, but let’s just say there are a few cuckolded husbands and ex girlfriends who are going to have clear shots at me from the back of a room within driving distance). Most likely to begin in August…I was planning to go on vacation to LA this August but my traveling partner may have opted out and thus the tour will be therapeutic. Of course, if she wants to come and be my wingman for the tour, I won’t argue…I had this one wingman named Ann on the Southern Poet’s Reading Tour…

Florida has never heard me read in person. They will. Texas knows me all too well, and they are getting an extra helping. Chicago? I wouldn’t miss it (or a certain suburb) for the world. I’m a dead man if I skip Morgantown, Salinas, Birmingham or Mobile, and New Orleans looks good.

My ex has been eying me all week saying she knows my reaction to stress and it tends to be an explosive change of direction that confounds my peers, dazzles my friends and pisses off my critics (I have no enemies, no one is worthy of that title). I figure I have one good run left in me and rather than rot somewhere, waiting for the worms, I am going to burn like a magnesium flare. Not much good as a mouldering hulk, you know.

I haven’t mounted a tour like this since 2002 (I have mounted anything since 2004, but let’s just keep that between us, shall we?) and the Love Gods of a Forgotten Religion book tour, which was a blast.

So if you know a good local venue, high school (the tour will overlap the start of the school year), festival, sorority house or bookstore, drop me a line, I’ll get you with my coordinator and we’ll make some magic. I may even get a band on the road, you never know. And I am willing to partner with one or more local poets to share the stage…never have been a microphone hog.

I am still looking for a theme, and such might yet occur, but I will let you know in a few days.

Oh, for those of you looking to order As such from amazon.com or your local bookstore, I got off the phone with my distributor a few hours ago…they were apologetic, but it is taking longer than usual for the book to get listed out in Books In Print, which is what all the book vendors use to order from. Keep patient, I will let you know when it is live. Right now the largest stash of the book in the world is probably sitting in South African customs.