City of Legends

With all the America-bashing that occurs in the world, it is nice to once in a while get credit for getting things right.

An editorial in today’s Times of London entitled "A Masterclass in Democracy" that praises the American system and her people in the way this Presidential Election played out was extremely gratifying (yes, be shocked, I regularly read news from other nations…London, Eastern Europe, China, Japan, Paris South America and occasionally even South Africa…I like to know what the unfiltered truth is, as our media does have its biases (even without softcore tabloid Australian billionaires trying to control the definition of "American conservative values" by buying up and/or creating news outlets)).

For the full text of this all-too-kind editorial, see

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/leading_article/article5093551.ece

I have been pondering the question of who John McCain will select as his running mate. It’s a tough one, but I had an epiphany as to whom he decided on last night and will be informing today that they are "the one".

Consider: He wants to pull the women’s vote in the face of shameful way the media and the Democratic Party treated Hillary Clinton, estimates show that about 10% of the women voters out there are up for grabs, angry and disgruntled. He needs a woman on the ticket to lock this in.

The Right Wing of the Republican Party will not accept anyone with less than "Right of the Planet Mars" credentials. This means he has to go for someone known for their stance and status in that area. A media celebrity with no doubt as to their loyalty to the Right.

Fortunately, because McCain has plenty of gravitas and cred already, he is not as constrained as Obama was in selecting someone with a major governmental resume. He can pick the best available athlete and ignore their resume.

Finally, he needs an attack dog, someone who is willing to go out, get dirty, point fingers, call people names and bash the living bejesus out of the Democratic ticket and, indeed, anyone who says anything nice about them. Rabies optional.

Oh, and you need someone who is younger and better looking, if only marginally, than McCain, to reassure the voters about McCain’s age.

Okay, young, female, rabid and Right Wing. Hmmmm…AHA!

Ann Coulter is the obvious choice. And think of media attention that would get. Yes, much of it would be questioning McCain’s sanity, but it would make a splash. She’s somewhat photogenic, she has media experience, she’s as Far Right as one can get without falling off the edge of the flat earth, she’s willing to attack anyone who gets in her way with a level of invective that is beyond insane and tasteful. And…

the notion of a Joe Biden- Ann Coulter debate just boggles the mind. I am sure Karl Rove would approve.

For those of you who live in foreign countries, under a rock, or only get information from Rupert Murdoch’s Fox News, here’s a quick check on the status of the current candidates for President of What’s Left After Bush Gets Through Screwing Things Permanently Up and Starting Wars with the Muslims, the Chinese and The Russians All At Once.

Barack Obama: Nice guy, Big smile. Will probably get the Democratic nomination. The question is whether the people with the real dirt on him wait until after he is nominated, elected or sworn in before they make their move. His wife is very lovely, but seems to be a little angry. Not quite She-Hulk angry, more like Martha Mitchell angry (for you old timers out there).

John McCain: Nice guy. War hero (although, to be honest, most guys become heroes by taking a hill against overwhelming odds, not getting shot down and forced to rot in North Vietnamese POW Camp that is substantially less hygenic than the restroom at the average service station). Trying hard to be a nice guy and keep the Karl Rove Mindless Zombies of the Right happy. Wouldn’t wish his job on an enemy. Would’ve been Republican nominee is 2000 if not for his own party playing the race-card against his adopted daughter. Bastards.

Hillary Clinton: Tough lady. Big smile. As usual, the more experienced woman who is in line for the job gets leapfrogged by a junior manager because he’s a guy and, in the end, we are more sexist than racist in this country. One in three minorities in this country do not get assaulted at some point in their life, just because they are minorities. One in three women do. I’m writing her name in on Election Day.

Joe Biden: May be named VP running mate to Obama so that rednecks can vote for a white guy. While I am on the topic, will someone explain to me why we allow people flying the Confederate Flag to get on airplanes? They are flying the symbol of an anti-American organization that took hundreds of thousands of lives in a treasonous action against this country. I digress. Hey, wasn’t Biden’s own campaign a decade or so ago derailed by a scandal about plagiarism?

Tom Ridge: May be named VP running mate to McCain so we have someone who doesn’t have to totally cave to the Religious Right on the ticket. Former head of Homeland Security, which still sounds to me like a department under the Politburo, not the US Government. (For the glorious Homeland…)

Evan Bayh: May be named VP running mate to Obama so that Hillary can’t gripe too much, as he was her 1st choice for dance partner. If there is a whiter man on the planet, he’s albino.

Bill Richardson: Nice guy. Hispanic, which may really confuse rednecks if Obama names him as his running mate. Amazing guy, hope he keeps the beard. Was a good friend to the Clintons. Note: Was. Endorsed Obama, may not get invited to the Clinton Christmas Party this year.

Mitt Romney: Too Mormon for the mainstream. Evangelicals who haven’t read the Constitution may throw a fit if McCain asks him to the dance.

Third Party Candidates: Laughing, insanely, here.