City of Legends

I was very tempted to stay in Los Angeles. Very. It would have meant leaving some things and some people behind, I don’t do that. I may not enjoy the role always, but I’m the guy who is supposed to hold the collapsing mine shaft open so the maximum number of people can escape. The concept of saving myself is difficult for me. I’ve done it, but I’ve always felt terrible afterwards and tried to make amends…and tried to do better the next time. Another of those promises. Ohana. I texted it when I thought of it.

The read was good. Very good. There was only a handful in attendance and we held it indoors due to the raging heat (it was in the nineties). I wasn’t 1000% satisfied, and I don’t think I could’ve gone that far for strangers, but it played well and I said what I had to say and I even sang (a’capella which, as Father Guido Sarducci used to say, means "without hats") "I love you more than gods can comprehend".

I may keep that in the tour. Definitely a crowd pleaser (not my voice, God knows, but the purity of it all). Rough on me, but the people are there to see the matador get gored. Don’t think I would keel over on stage, but that would make a great legacy moment.

I got to speak with Peri last night. We mostly talked about the casting of Robert Downey in Iron Man and Marvel Studios’ master plan. I kept getting texted by a friend whose long-distance relationship was crumbling and was losing her mind, perhaps even contemplating suicide. I finally lost patience with her and told her to do what she thought best. Atlas gets tired of people complaining about backache.

The trip, on the whole, went well. Guerrilla reading in New York, the SLC read and then the Long Beach "As such…" reading (I had forgotten how powerful that was…although I did not read the forewords (laughing)). Thanks to everyone who assisted and insisted. Thanks to Karla, Jenn and Sabrina for the emotional support, Jazz for the irony and Vox for not taking pictures.

Later today I start a special training diet to help prep me for the tour. I need to focus harder, work harder and continue my vocal exercises (I do a few things a few hours before each read: I sing the Three Stooges’ "Alphabet Song" to tighten my elocution (I am not kidding), recite a couple of the key works I will be doing in that reading, and sing Don Henley’s "Heart of the Matter" to burn off excess emotion). I need to make some key decisions about the reading list for the tour…I may do a reading book…a pdf of the works I can then pick from for each read, print off a copy for each different event and annotate it as I see fit.

God, but I need laid (did I just say that out loud?). Karla found out about my vow of celibacy and, being aware of my appetites asked "What is up with that?" I thought she was going to smack me from a thousand miles away. Maybe I should add a little clock to the website "Number of days since the poet shared his flesh"? The mind boggles.

Love is all you need. But I want more, I want truth. I want it all…I want it all…I want it all…and I want it now.